i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize