Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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