we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
