He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
