If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
