Small penises have feelings too.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
