I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
