i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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