oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
50% drunk capacity currently
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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