can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize