I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
