How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
