I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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