He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
