after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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