Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The uberlube is also flammable
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
