He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
