I'm drive I can fine osifer
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
