I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
