If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
