I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
