so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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