i think my mom watched the whole time
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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