somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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