your room smells of hookers.
And success
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
