Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
dude i'm inner monologue high
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
