I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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