Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
honey bunches of taint.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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