my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize