Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
