Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
