Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize