Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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