he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
