ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
