pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
