Small penises have feelings too.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize