Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We have so much sex to catch up on
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
