But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
