Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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