Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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