I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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