I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You are the jesus of drinking
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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