if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
