his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
