im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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