somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
