when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
