areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
