drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
