how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
