he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
