Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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