if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well I just put wine in my tea
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
