some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
