also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
