they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just high enough for therapy.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
