Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
