I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
