Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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