Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
