It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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