Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
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