I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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