Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
