He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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