no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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