It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
