Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
