Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
