I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
