I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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