do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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