you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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