weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
a search helicopter?!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
