Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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